Former English captain Lewis Moody has revealed he has been identified with motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet deal with the full implications of the muscle-wasting condition that claimed the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The middle-aged sportsman, who was part of the World Cup champion 2003 side and won multiple English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast a fortnight after discovering he has the condition.
"There's an element of facing the future and not wanting to fully comprehend that at the minute," he stated.
"It's not that I am unaware of where it's going. We comprehend that. But there is certainly a unwillingness to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, conversing alongside his wife Annie, says rather he feels "calm" as he directs his attention to his immediate health, his family and making preparations for when the condition deteriorates.
"Possibly that's trauma or maybe I deal with matters in another way, and after I have the facts, it's more manageable," he stated further.
Initial Indications
Moody learned he had MND after observing some reduced power in his upper arm while exercising in the gym.
After physical therapy failed to improve the problem, a set of scans showed nerves in his neurological system had been affected by MND.
"You're given this condition identification of MND and we're understandably quite affected about it, but it's rather peculiar because I feel like everything is fine," he remarked.
"I don't feel sick. I don't experience poorly
"My symptoms are quite slight. I have a small amount of muscle loss in the hand and the shoulder region.
"I remain capable of accomplishing all activities. And with luck that will continue for as long as is attainable."
Illness Development
MND can progress rapidly.
As per the charity MND Association, the condition claims a third of people within a year and over half within 24 months of identification, as eating and respiration become more difficult.
Medical care can only retard worsening.
"It's not me that I feel sad for," commented an emotional Moody.
"It's the grief around having to tell my mum - as an sole offspring - and the consequences that has for her."
Personal Impact
Conversing from the residence with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was consumed with feeling when he spoke about breaking the news to his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and 15-year-old Ethan - the devastating news, saying: "That represented the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"They are two excellent boys and that was rather heartbreaking," Moody stated.
"We sat on the couch in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog bounded over and began removing the moisture off our faces, which was rather silly."
Moody said the priority was staying in the moment.
"We have no treatment and that is why you have to be so strongly focused on just accepting and savoring each moment now," he stated.
"According to Annie, we've been truly fortunate that the primary determination I made when I left playing was to allocate as much period with the kids as feasible. We won't recover those times back."
Sportsman Association
Elite competitors are unevenly affected by MND, with research proposing the incidence of the illness is up to sixfold higher than in the wider community.
It is thought that by reducing the O2 obtainable and creating injury to neural pathways, regular, strenuous training can activate the illness in those previously genetically susceptible.
Athletic Career
Moody, who gained 71 England appearances and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in recognition of his fearless, unwavering style to the game.
He played through a stress fracture of his leg for a period with Leicester and once sparked a training-ground confrontation with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he abandoned a tackle pad and began participating in tackles.
After coming on as a substitute in the Rugby World Cup championship win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the back of the line-out in the critical passage of play, establishing a platform for half-back Matt Dawson to snipe and Jonny Wilkinson to kick the match-winning drop kick.
Backing Network
Moody has previously informed Johnson, who captained England to that victory, and a couple of other former players about his condition, but the others will be finding out his news with the broader public.
"There shall be a time when we'll need to depend on their support but, at the minute, just having that kind of love and acceptance that people are there is all that matters," he commented.
"Rugby is such a great family.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even if it finished now, I've valued all of it and accepted all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"When you get to label your enthusiasm your vocation, it's one of the greatest privileges.
"To have done it for so long a time with the groups that I did it with was a delight. And I understand they will desire to support in whatever way they can and I look forward to having those talks."
